Ironies Amidst Mayhem In Maximum City

Maximum City, Mumbai, has perhaps seen more terror attacks than any other city in the world. But the violence unleashed on November 26, 2008 is being reckoned as the most brazen attack on Indian soil to date. The city came under militant siege for over 60 hours and today, 217 deaths later it is attempting to limp back to normalcy. India and the world have breathed a sigh of relief with all the terrorists being brought down. But no tragedy transpires without ironies. I, after reading a host of posts, articles and watching videos on the brutal onslaught on India’s largest city, have observed, as have many others, certain ironies that played out as mayhem unfurled. Ironies were the norm even after the attack. From the entry of the terrorists into Mumbai to the Maharashtra Chief Minister’s visit to the crime scenes along with film personalities, all aspects of the tragedy have been subject to scrutiny and rightly so. I shall point to a few of them.

1. Welcome Mujahideen Welcome!: Posse of extremists waltzed into Mumbai in a boat and landed at different locations and no one had a clue. They left a boat-load of explosives near the Gateway of India and walked into the city and no one noticed. A bunch of fishermen encountered a group of twelve suspicious men and they were asked to mind their business. Later, it was discovered that the boat was owned by the most wanted bhai from Mumbai, Dawood bhai (Yes, Dawood strikes again!).  Investigations have revealed that the Coast Guard had intercepted the boat carrying the terrorists off the coast of Rann of Kutch but let them pass because they had the proper paper-work. Another group hijacked an Indian fishing vessel and got the crew to sail them to the coast and then did away with them. Now, how did the Indian coast become so vulnerable, given that Mumbai is the headquarters of the Western Naval Command? Well, the Navy was probably busy battling Somalian pirates. Was the entire Indian Navy deployed off the coast of Somalia? Looks like it. What happened to the Coast Guard? Coast Guard? What Coast Guard? All this is a huge intelligence failure. Yes, indeed, our intelligence has been numbed, we have no shred of it left in us anymore! We have thrown more than 7000 km of our coastline as wide open as the sky, with a massive invisible ‘Swagatam’ board. I admit, it is not possible to man every inch of the coast, but having a guarded post every 100 km isn’t much of an expense especially when you’re draining a tax-payer’s pocket.
2. Policewale Ki Lathi Bandook Ke Khilaaf: Unprepared, ill-equipped Mumbai Police does its best in stalling the terrorists who stormed the hotels and Nariman House with lathis, double barrel rifles (fit only to be antique pieces) and 6-bullet revolvers vis-a-vis AK-47s, Kalashnikovs and hand grenades. One of India’s finest police forces lost three of its best officers to the bullets along with 14 other officers. Why? They weren’t armed sufficiently enough to counter an attack of this magnitude, that’s why. No police force is. This is the job of the military. And yet, they braved all odds and faced the militants with their humble weaponry until the Army and other para-military forces took charge. The policemen in CST even fought the terrorists with a single-barrel rifle vis-a-vis ammunition enough to kill 5000 people! Does anyone else think that the government should stop being frugal and spend more on arming the police force, or is it just me? Arm the police, damn it!! Lathis just don’t cut it!
3. Raag Bharatiya Sena, Vilambit Gat, Ek Taal: The Maharashtra government did not request for military assistance until after the police had sacrificed three of its top brass officers. The MARCOs (Marine Commandos) arrived at 2 am and stormed the Taj. The Maha CM who was outside Mumbai at the time, called the Union Home Ministry in Delhi for 300 NSG commandos to be flown into Mumbai, like how one would order groceries from a local kirana store and ask them to be delivered at home. The NSG did react, however, and got the commandos ready by 1 am, but the aircraft needed to fly the commandos had to be flown down from Chandigarh to the Palam Airfield (South Delhi). As per ordinance, an aircraft is to be stationed at Palam permanently, in case of such an emergency, but it wasn’t, hence there was further delay. The entire bureaucratic protocol delayed the NSG’s arrival in Mumbai by 10 hours. They finally arrived at the hotel in a local ‘Best’ bus at 7.20 am the next morning and weren’t given the maps of the hotels until an hour later. Valuable time and life were lost in the meantime. The Army’s 400 commandos had surrounded the hotels and Nariman House by then. Why did the Maharashtra government exhibit such laxity in contacting the Army? Was Vilasrao Deshmukh that drunk or was he busy admiring his squinted son’s ridiculous big-screen misadventures?
4. Neta Log, Apne Muh Bandh Rakho: Aah! The most ridiculous fall-out of the entire tragedy – the comments from the politicos! I was left speechless when I heard what the Union Home Minister Shivraj Patil had to say. Read this. I had rather not comment on his unparalleled wisdom and excellent presence of mind, because one would notice a sharp change in the tone of my language. I’d probably surprise myself with my knowledge of expletives in all the languages I know. Then the  Chief Minister Vilasrao Deshmukh’s admittance that ‘we had no clue this was going to happen!’ has come under flak. Why flame the poor guy? Wasn’t he right? How would the CM be in the know of intelligence reports? Come on, people! Vilasbhai was expecting a formal invitation to the massacre, so that his son and Ram Gopal Varma could get live feeds from the whole drill, for their next project. He was also looking forward to watching Union Home Minister Shivraj Patil (now ex-UHM) perform a lavni item number with Raj Thackeray along with Mumbai Mayor Shubha Raul’s mujra. A jubilant gathering of the true ‘Marathi manoos’ celebrating pre-Christmas Diwali! And then his Deputy, R. R. Patil, goes on to add during a press conference (of all places!) that ‘itne bade sheher mein, ekaad haadsa ho jaata hai, iska matlab yeh nahin ki complete failure hua hai‘ (In such a big city, such small incidents do happen, but that does not mean there’s been a complete failure.). Now, why is this man being flamed? Poor guy, had to give up his post of Deputy Chief Minister for this! He was just exercising his right to ‘free speech’ which was awfully misconstrued. To each his own, guys. It’s a democracy remember? To him, ‘bada haadsa‘ is perhaps only when terrorists hijack and crash planes into buildings and have a death toll that runs into the thousands. Sorry, Patilbhai! Next time, we’ll formally invite and request the insurgents to hijack a plane and crash it into the heart of one the metropolises or the ‘Mantralay’ or the Rashtrapati Bhavan or the Taj Mahal (this time, the real one!). Anywhere you please. We promise you. Better still, we’ll offer one of our countless decrepit Air India aircraft which are on the verge of collapse anyway. Ok? Do not despair! A noble politician, R. R. Patil. Then comes, the champion of Gujarat, Motabhai Modi, scurrying to gather political brownie points. Motabhai, in good faith, set the value of a slain hero’s life at a mota raqam of one crore rupees, which even the Maharashtra government did not do. But, much to his dismay, the slain officer Hemanth Karkare’s widow refused the offer. Sad, isn’t it? Motabhai, with such unconditional love and respect, estimated the value of the dead policeman’s life and his family’s self-respect and his widow had the audacity to disdainfully refuse to accept it. Pathetic indeed! I’m really sorry, Motabhai! I promise you, when you die, of whatever reason, we will organize a Motabhai Modi Antim Yatra Chanda Vasooli campaign and organize your funeral. We will spend from the money collected and if any change were to remain, we will, in good faith, turn in the difference to your family. Ok? But in case the expenses incurred exceed the collection amount, then we will collect the difference from your family. You know how expensive funerals are these days, right? I hope you understand.  And finally, there is this canine breed of politicians who bark, given the smallest opportunity. One such is the Kerala Chief Minister, K. Achyutanandan…err…A ‘Chooth’ Anandan (pardon the language!). His insensitive comments on the martyred NSG Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan’s family saying ‘if is weren’t for Sandeep, not even a dog would’ve glanced that way’ have deeply hurt not only the Major’s family but also the people of his own state. The barks of A’chooth’anandan have even got his own dog-pound..err..party, CPI(M), to issue a public apology. Yet, the Kerala CM was as unapologetic as ever and on the contrary stated that the Major’s family had called him up and said ‘Unnigrishnen’s father’s mendel* is noat goott and he is vurry opset, so don’t mind him’. Who else thinks that this mongrel seriously needs to be sacked and sent back to his pound? Please raise your leashes! Bad, bad doggy…err…CM! No bones…err….votes for you! Oh! I totally forgot! The BJP spokesperson, Muqhtar Abbas Naqvi, mouthed his peeves too. He complained that women wearing ‘lipishtick’ were protesting against politicians, and holding them responsible for the Mumbai attacks. We apologise, Naqvi sahab, our protestors are not as fashion conscious as you or your party members. They couldn’t think of threatening to shave their heads in protest, unlike one of your party’s super models, Sushma Swaraj! Forgive our modest protestors.
5. Marathi Manoos Kothe Aahe?: WHERE THE F*** ARE THE SHIV SENA AND MAHARASHTRA NAVNIRMAN SENA NOW? They’re perhaps still chasing the North Indians out of Mumbai. Abey O Thackeray, this time the parasites are not the Bhaiyajis. Lose the obsession already, will you! What happened to your Mumbaikar revolution now? Three of your bravest ‘Marathi Manoos’ laid down their lives in order to save your beloved Mumbai and none of you even attended their funerals, at least for coutesy. Neither you, nor your family, nor your suck-up mayor, Shubha Raul turned up for any comments or reactions. You guys didn’t even bother visiting the scenes of crime. Did the terrorists instill such terror in you as to make you piss in your pants? Is the Mayor Shubha busy sucking up to you? Where the f*** are you guys! O yes! You finally broke silence calling for Bai…err…Lady Patil’s rule, right? Alas, the First Bai….err…Lady is busy dusting the Rashtrapati Bhavan’s colonial furniture and doing the dishes. She can’t come to you right now. Hard Luck, guys! Chavan’s on his way.
6. Maan Na Maan, Main Tera Dushman: This is what our ‘peaceful’ neighbors had to say:

http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=exvlatXpCnI

http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=Eij5o7XizIA

This is Janaab Zaid Hamid, the Strategic Defence Analyst. With defence analysts like this, who needs enemies? The great analyst talks about ‘Hindu Zionists’ and a few other best-friends of his. Also, a Pakistan Muslim League MP, Marvi Memon Sahibaan shares her excitement on sending the ISI chief to India.

http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=xb7RiCFd9xY&feature=related

This would be the former ISI chief, Janaab Hamid Gul, talking about blowing up Bangalore in a ‘dhooen ka  baadal‘ (a cloud of smoke).

I would advise you to watch the complete interviews with both Zaid Hamid and Hamid Gul. Aur is maamle ko ab main apne wafaadar aur faheem qaareen ke hawaale karta hoon aur unse yeh arz karta hoon ki apne tamaam qaabil-e-ehtaraam tabsaraahon ko yahaan bayaan kare. (I now leave this issue to my loyal, perceptive readers and request them to leave their valuable comments here!).

The atrocities in Mumbai have morphed from being a major terror attack into a wake-up call for the government. It is time we took a firm stance against the menace that not just India faces but the whole world. In spite of all the clamour about monting evidence against Pakistan, I still think that a war is not the panacea. If it comes to a war then an extremely strategic approach is necessary. Instead of launching an offensive, India should either take a defensive or counter-offensive stance. I hope it doesn’t come to that. I really hope so.

I salute the martyrs – the brave policemen and the Army commandos – who have paid with their lives to save India’s most precious gem from the clutches of insurgency.

Take our bow, O Brave Men!!

Jai Hind!!

PS: The harsh criticism and satire aimed at the politicians was completely intentional. No apologies there.

* By ‘mendel’ he meant to say mental state.

దేశ భాషలందు తెలుగు లెస్స!

A moment of pride, a moment of triumph, a moment of accomplishment, a moment when all Telugus must feel honored. Yes! Our beloved language ‘Telugu’ was conferred the status of a ‘Classical Language’ (Praacheena Bhaasha) by the Union Culture Ministry on October 31, 2008, the eve of ‘Raashtra avataranotsavam‘ (State Formation Day). The Union Culture Minister, Ambika Soni, announced the approval of classical status to the language. It will now be regarded on par with Sanskrit and Tamil, the only two languages that have thus far boasted of the classical status. Tamil was the first to receive the title, in 2004 followed by Sanskrit in 2005. Kannada has also been granted classical status along with Telugu. The four year wait for those vouching for the two languages, has finally ended. Both languages have met the criteria for being graced with ‘classical’ status – antiquity and usage of more than 1500 years, original literature at least 1000 years old.

The panel of experts that convened to evaluate the claims of Telugu has been presented with substantial evidence which establishes its history of more than 2,500 years. The earliest Buddhist Prakrit inscriptions from Bhattiprolu in Guntur district, dating back to 400 BCE, contained several Telugu words, names of places, proving that the language of the natives was Telugu, while the rulers spoke Prakrit. The earliest inscription written entirely in Telugu was found in Kadapa district and dated back to 575 CE. By then Telugu had already evolved into a highly developed and sophisticated language. Although the earliest literature in Telugu can currently be traced back to the 9th century CE, many scholars and linguists believe that earlier literary works must have existed but were either lost or destroyed. Among the various reasons stated for the loss, one stood out – the revival of Hindu beliefs after a long hiatus of Buddhist domination in the region.

Telugu and Kannada did not branch off from an earlier form of Tamil, contrary to popular belief which was advocated by the likes of Periyar, Karunanidhi and other pro-Dravidian secessionists. However, it is true that all the three languages share the same linguistic base, the Proto-Dravidian Language. Tamil, which is considered the purest off-shoot of the Proto-Dravidian language, was the first to branch off and develop independently, while Telugu and Kannada split a little later. Tamil isolated itself and retained the corpus of Proto-Dravidian vocabulary and was less influenced by other languages, whilst Telugu and Kannada were greatly influenced by the tongues of the North, esp. Sanskrit and Prakrit. But all three languages still retain the basic grammatical structure and rudimentary vocabulary of the Proto-Dravidian language (PDL) – the children of one mother. Also, the PDL gave birth to 21 Dravidian languages which can essentially be classified into three groups – the Northern, Central and Southern group. The Northern branch consists of languages like Brahui (spoken in Baluchistan province of Pakistan), Malto and Kudukh (spoken by certian tribes in Central India). The Central group consists of eleven languages of which only Telugu developed into a civilized language with a literary repertoire. The other ten remained tribal languages. Finally, the Southern group consists of Tamil, Kannada, Malayalam, Tulu, Kodava Takk, Toda and Kota. Five of these languages evolved into modern languages spoken by large populations, while two remained within sylvan confines. Therefore, Tamil and Telugu don’t even belong to the same group to suggest that one branched off from the other. All three languages developed independently.

The great Tuluva emperor of the Vijayanagara empire, Sri Krishna Deva Raya, extoled Telugu in a poem which ends with the line ‘Desha bhaashalandu Telugu lessa‘ (the title of this post) meaning ‘Of all the tongues of the Land, Telugu is the sweetest’. The Italian explorer, Nicola Di Conti, called Telugu the ‘Italian of the East’, since all of its words end in a vowel sound (although I would prefer calling Italian the ‘Telugu of the West’, nevertheless.). The great Tamil poet, Subrahmanya Bharati, sang ‘Sundara Telunginil pattisaitthu‘ meaning ‘Sing in beautiful Telugu’.

This post neither has a structure nor a purpose. It only voices my excitement over the fact that my mother tongue has been declared a classical language. Well, to me Telugu has always been more than just a medium of communication. To me, to speak in Telugu is worship, a divine tongue that it is. It is as important to me as it is to breathe. I have savored its honey-like sweetness and the thirst is insatiable.

This post is my tribute to Telugu! To its antiquity. To its unparalleled poetic beauty. To all those great people who have contributed to it and who have died for its cause!

Jai Telugu Talli!

Swasti!

Image courtesy: www.teluguone.com/…/jaitelugutalli/index.jsp

Itihaas ke kaale panne…..

The darkest times in Indian history were not when the Harappan civilization faded into oblivion, not when Alexander crossed the Sindhu, not during the Kalinga battle, not during the first Muslim conquest, not even when the British dug their fingers deep into the Indian soul, but in the last sixty years of independent India (1947 – 2007). The ‘Goras’, having gone bankrupt during WW-II and having drained the Indian exchequer as well, found no use for India any longer. So, they left it to us Indians to build a nation from the ruins they left behind. We the people of India, then broke it into two and gave unto ourselves India (for the Hindus and ‘secularists’) and Pakistan (for the Muslims). Of course, the British were undoubtedly the henchmen in this task – in fact they were guilty of fueling the growing mistrust between the Indian leaders. After all, their principal dogma of governance was to ‘Divide and Rule’. Ultimately, the independence did indeed rid us of a 200 year long British nightmare, but it also ushered in an even grimmer, more sinister period.

With the country split in two, more than ten million people were forced to relocate, sparking the largest exodus of human population the world has ever seen. Their lives turned upside-down overnight. Mutual hatred kindled fires of religious violence. The inferno raged across the two new-born nations and only ashes remained of more than a million souls. The seamlessly woven Indian fabric was torn apart, beyond repair, never to be the same again. This was the ominous beginning to the building of the two free nations of India and Pakistan. The Partition of India still remains one of the bloodiest chapters in human history. The survivors still retain harsh vivid memories from the time. The scars are too deep to heal. The two neighbors have since had to face hostilities from each other over a disputed paradise which both claim propriety over. They have fought three major wars in less than 53 years. They still look daggers at each other and neither shows any signs of relenting. All the bitterness has been pushing the divinely beautiful Kashmir valley (the disputed paradise) far from being the utopia it once was. Kashmir being a Muslim dominated region, the hostilities have driven the Kashmiri Hindus out of their homes and made them refugees in their own country. The Muslims aren’t living in peace themselves. Often suspected of fanning terrorism in the valley, Kashmir has become a living hell for the innocent Muslim. We the people of both countries are now crossing fingers hoping that Kashmir does not turn into a ‘Paradise Lost’!!

Both countries have had their share of political upheavals through the years. India, for its part, has had to face the challenge of reorganizing itself politically, and building a democracy. The multitude of languages spoken throughout the land lay the groundwork for the political reorganization of the Union. This was in the face of secessionists from certain regions demanding sovereignty for their respective provinces. The secessionists sometimes made their presence felt through extreme violence. India even had to acquire certain provinces like Goa (also called Gomantak) and Pondicherry (also called Puduchcheri) from other European colonists – the Portuguese and the French respectively, who wouldn’t let go easy. The consolidation of India into a Union was by no means an easy task and it was certainly not innocent of the people’s blood. The Union had to pay an insufferable price to stay united.

The politics of post-independence India could not have been murkier. Even the British Raj would be put to shame with the levels of corruption that have crept into the system. Almost the entire political spectrum of the country is now infested with corrupt, reprobate leaders who have the word ‘Bhrashtachari’ etched on their foreheads. The dirty politics of caste, ethnicity and religion have plagued and crippled the country. The declaration of Emergency in 1975 is a grim reminder of the disrespect for democracy shown by our so-called ‘leaders’. Riot-mongers have ripped the nation apart on more occasions than the land had ever seen throughout its long historical legacy. India has also been labeled a ‘soft target’ for terrorist attacks. The partition was a harbinger for further animosity between the two neighbors and also amongst the communities within the country. Some catastrophic events still remain fresh in the nation’s mind while some have been forgotten. These incidents today only play around as nightmares in the memories of the survivors. The 1984 Anti-Sikh attacks that followed the assassination of the then Prime Minister, Indira Gandhi, are one such less-remembered incident where man has tried to play God. In a period of less than three days, in Delhi alone, more than five thousand Sikhs were either burnt alive or hauled to death. My parents themselves bearing witness to a few of the atrocities. Most other killing sprees across the country went unreported. The guilty still roam around scott-free, because their political clout made the best use of all the loop-holes in the Indian judicial system. One reason why many Indians have lost their trust in the judiciary is because it still sells itself to political pressure. The judiciary has become the underdog of India’s democracy. India is today considered one of the worst countries to fight a legal battle – the feather in the cap of 60 year old Indian Democracy!! Corruption, inept leadership and utter pandemonium in the political system had almost drained the National Treasury to the point of bankruptcy in 1991. If it weren’t for the few remnants of wisdom in the nation, only God knows what the chaos would have pushed all of us into!

Acts of God have also done their part in ravaging India in more ways than one. Cyclones, earthquakes, famines, droughts, spates, tsunamis and other forces of destruction have all chipped in on behalf of Mother Nature to the devastation of the land. Although these are inevitable and in most cases unpredictable, it is still painful to admit how powerless we humans are against such forces. Several unforgettable disasters have left an indelible imprint on the Indian psyche. The Bengal Famine of the 40s claimed three million lives. The Great Cyclone of 1970, named Bhola, ripped through most of the Eastern coast of India and East Pakistan (which went on to become Bangladesh in 1971) and washed away more than three hundred thousand lives. The Latur, Gujarat and Kashmir Earthquakes of 1993, 2001 and 2005 respectively buried more than a 100,000 people. The Boxing Day Tsunami of 2004 built another fifty thousand watery graves. More such calamities will occur in the future with unquestionable certainty. We humans are not bestowed with the power to control Nature, but we are definitely bestowed with the mental faculty to be prepared for the worst.

This preparedness for the worst, a visionary outlook, a harmonious and responsible society, a stable and clean political system are not fragments of unrealistic hope, if only we as the citizens of the country assume as an obligation the salvaging of India from the quagmire we ourselves have pushed her into. As the ancient strategist and politician, Chanakya (Kautilya) quoted ‘the downfall of a nation is most importantly due to its irresponsible citizens’. Hence, the panacea to all the maladies is responsibility and action. The last two decades bear testimony to a changing India. We have shown significant progress in these two decades, but this is only the first step to a long journey. We have just begun a process of change that spells a mightier India. The sleeping giant is beginning to hear the melodies of the dawn of a glorious era. The phoenix is beginning to rise from the ashes of time. Let us turn the wheels of India’s fortune and restore its past splendour.  Let India soar, high in to the skies of glory, where it once was and where it rightly belongs. Our National Anthem extols the ‘Dispenser of India’s destiny’. Let us not forget that, ‘We, the people of India’ are the ‘Dispensers of her destiny’. Let victory be ours!!

JAI HIND!!!