Bhulakkad Shiromani Zindabad!

Posted: March 12, 2009 in Batuku jeevuda!!
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Forgetting – The three syllables can either get you into deep, deep, abysmal trouble or can bail you out of an icky situation like a savior, as the case may be, and alter the course of history (your own and/or of all humanity). Yes, my love and respect for the word and the act itself is immeasurable. Hence, ‘I forget, therefore I am’!

Alright! This was perhaps the lamest of attempts to rationalize my most conspicuous trait – yes, you guessed that right – forgetting. It is so natural for me to forget as it is for a memory chip to store data. If it does not save it’s not a memory chip and if I don’t forget, it’s not me! Sometimes I feel a fish or even an ant has better retention than I do. My lack of memory is very subjective though. There are only certain things or incidents that slip out of my mind, not everything. So, it’s not like I have alzheimer’s or anything. Some people call this trait ‘absent mindedness’ while I just call it ‘forgetfulness’. These little anecdotes will demonstrate what a splendid memory I have and what games my brain sometimes plays with me. In effect, they will show how this trait got me into deep, deep, deep trouble!

Let’s begin with a more recent occurrence. This happened only a few months ago. A relative had temporarily moved to another city and left his almost dump-worthy car with me. My roomie and I began using that car for everything including missed-bus-to-campus-so-take-the-car kind of emergencies. It was mid-term time. One of my exams was at 5.15 pm and I had to catch the 4.30 bus, which, goes without saying, I missed. So, I had no choice but to take the car. Now, the catch is, I didn’t have the permit to park that car on campus (getting a permit for cars owned by someone else was an unnecessary rigmarole, so I gave that a miss!) and had to park somewhere ‘near’ but not ‘on’ campus. So, I parked it at the McDonalds, just outside campus, and walked to class. The exam went well, I then finished post-exam discussions, walked to the bus-stop with a friend, caught the bus and came home (I actually took the bus back home, yes!). Not once did it cross my mind that I had driven to class that evening. The night went by.

Next morning – class at 10.10 am, had to catch the 9.30 bus. Now, it is  imperative that I state the not-so-petty fact that I missed the darned 9.30 bus again and decided to take the blessed car! I went to the apartment parking lot and walked straight to the spot where I usually park the car and………voilà……..NO CAR!! It wasn’t there (How would it? It was twiddling tires in the McD’s parking lot, Helloo!!)!! Scouring the entire parking lot only burnt the last few ounces of flesh left on my bones and fetched nothing. My heart leapt to my throat (I thought I was going to choke to death!). I panicked like a fainting goat!

I searched the parking lot again as I tried to think back to the previous evening. This was the chain of events that I recalled at that time – “I missed the bus as usual, took the car, parked at McD’s, walked to class, gave the exam, walked with the friend and then how did I come back home? O yes! The wretched bus! Then, where’s the……………………………O F***!! O F***!!O F***!!” I almost fainted out of shock! I had never prayed as fervently as I did that day, for the car not to be towed away or even worse, stolen. I was thinking of all sorts of rational and irrational explanations to give my relative, in the event of something unfortunate. I began to think of my bank balance, loans and other finances and about how long I might take to repay him. Going by the crunch I faced, the prospect of paying back seemed pretty far. “Screw the class, I’ve got to get the car back or I’m screwed! Big Time!!” I thought. “The car is your Holy Grail!” – the only thought that echoed in my head like a thousand singing choirs nymphs!

I waited for the next bus and prayed. I prayed through the journey to the Holy McD’s! I got off the bus with trembling feet, and a lump in my throat. I walked into the parking lot and there it was!! My Holy Grail!! My El Dorado!! My Shangrila!! It was right where I had parked it! To me that derelict contraption they called, the car, looked like a mountain of gold and it glowed and shimmered! It seemed as if I had fulfilled my life’s purpose and had nothing more to achieve – Nirvana!! It was then that I swallowed that lump in the throat and ran to the car in slow-motion, hugged it and kissed it! I thanked all the gods a million times, sat in the car and drove back home! I missed the next class in all the excitement and joy of finding the car safe and not-so-sound!

This incident may seem shocking and is likely to create all sorts of impressions of me. But I’ll still tell you the story. I was 10 and was enjoying a perfect summer vacation at my maternal uncle’s place in Vizag’s Naval Park*. Their kid (my cousin) was a one-and-a-half year-old baby then. I was very fond of him and I’d play with him all day. Their flat was on the 7th floor and there was a little playground just outside the building. One evening, as my grandma watched me, I took him down to the playground. My uncle and aunt hadn’t returned home from work. I left my cousin with a few other kids of his age. I had already befriended a few kids my age and was playing GI-JOE with them. My team won a battle and, all excited, I ran home to tell everyone.

The moment she saw me, my grandmother, clearly aghast, “WHERE’S THE BABY?”

SKIP HEART BEAT! SHOCK! STARE! GAPE! STARE LONGER!

She gave me one tight slap, grabbed me by my ear and dragged me out of the house to look for my cousin. Some crying ensued. As we waited for the lift and as her cussing and my sobbing continued uninterrupted, the lift opened and my uncle’s neighbor walked out of it with my cousin in her arms. Man, the relief!! Some killer gazes, threats and lectures later, my grandmom took the baby from her and thanked her. I felt like a prisoner walking to the gallows, as I walked into the house and as the door closed behind me. Let’s suffice it to say that I thought I might be murdered that night and wouldn’t see daylight ever again! I didn’t sleep a wink!

These anecdotes pretty much drive the point home and are self-explanatory of the trait I began talking about, which was……..err……which was……what was that again? Damn it!! Someone remind me! What the hell was it that I began talking about?

PS: With this post I’d actually like to apologize to my cousin, who is now 15 and is giving his 10th boards, for almost putting him on the ‘Missing’ children’s list!!

PPS: * Naval Park is a residential township for Naval officers stationed in the Eastern Naval Command at Visakhapatnam, AP.

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Comments
  1. kusublakki says:

    ROFL…you remind me of Mr.Twiddle, who was an absent minded Enid Blyton character, and a personal favorite too!

    I have an uncle who always throws the laundry in the trash can and gives the dhobhi a bag of garbage!

    My teacher always told me to soak two badams overnight and eat them without the skin the next morning. Apparently improves your memory 😉

    Thanks. I think I’ll take the badam advice.

  2. buddy says:

    memory chips dont retrive data..they merely save data, the retrieving is done by software and it actually…never mind whats the use? you’ll forget it anyways..sigh

    Of all things, you had to pick on those didn’t you!! Anyway, I edited it. You should learn to take a metaphor as a metaphor and not rationalize it.

  3. Srividya says:

    Teeheehee… reminds me of the time I left my bicycle at babulal’s and went home anddd it wasn’t even locked 😀

    Hehehehe!! Yes, yes, I remember. But mine beats all okay! 😛 😀

  4. rads says:

    LOL! :-))

    Okay, just to make you feel better, here’s my theory. The male human is itself flawed as far as memory is concerned. Their genes are dotted with selective triggers. Ones associated with food, the female (until marriage tied them together) and machines. Everything else disappears into a huge black hole.

    You are a male. Sadly, you are not as special as you’d like to believe. 😛

    :O That was….it’s not…..aah WTH! You’re right, we men can’t remember and I can’t even feign a good memory, but I’d like to see the other men argue on this! It’s not a fair judgment!! But hey, I’m special okay!!

  5. saranya says:

    Read your blog regularly, but commenting first time!
    Well written, although I would like to agree with rads… most men are forgetful! 🙂

    Although I can’t claim, I can vouch for men’s exceptional memory! But thanks for commenting, finally! 🙂

  6. Adithya says:

    ROFL, The car thing has happened to my uncle too when he was young. He learned to drive but had no license, underage and was not allowed to drive the car at home. But to drop a friend in station, he took the car without telling anyone at home, dropped him in station, and took the bus back home. When his dad looked for keys in the usual place, the next day, the criminal was caught. This was an award winning entry to those Dumb Criminals articles!

    LOL!! Well, here there was nothign criminal about it, it was only ‘dumb’! 😛

  7. chutney says:

    OMG someone who’s actually giving me competition!

    One particularly warm day, my father was testing the terrace garden’s hose. Me and my sister, being the enthu pattaanis that we were started playing. We were drenched ofcourse. Completely doused.
    It occurred to me half an hour later that my brand new mp3 player was in my pocket at that time.

    Birds of a feather, eh?

    ess, ess ma!! Welcome to the siblinghood!! 😛 So, what happened to the mp3 player?

  8. Haha. I should let my mom read this post. This makes my daily forgetting to turn off the water heater very forgivable. 😀

    O yes!! The waterheater! My mom always did that for me, coz she knew I wouldn’t do it on my own. She stopped reminding me.

  9. Prashanti says:

    OMG!!!!! I exactly did the same thing when I newly got a car.. I ususally went to school in the shuttle and one mornng , I took the car and as usual returned home by the shuttle. I remembered a lot later and then took the shuttle back to school and got the car home 🙂

    Well, you forgot you own car and you’d have no one to repay. I left someone else’s car and I have to sell myself to pay them back!

  10. shenoyn says:

    Wow! You make me look respectable! Enjoyed!

    Ahem…well…Mr. Shenoy, what should I say? Thanks? 😛 I’m glad you enjoyed!

  11. maxdavinci says:

    rephrasaing what buddy said.

    you quoting tech is like a eunuch giving a sermon on the kamasutra!

    I know you’re mad at me for this, but then you’ll forget!

    I never forget insults!! I was just quoting it as a metaphor. Metaphors are not meant to be taken literally, in case you didn’t know. I’m sure this is a big word for illiterates, but I know you’ll learn.

  12. Ranjani says:

    LMAO, this hit too close home:)

    btw, about your chhole q’, only pressure cook chhole if they are the dry kind after you’ve soaked them overnight. Don’t pressure cook canned chhole because they’ll turn into mush!

    🙂 I’m glad there are more of the likes of me!! And thanks a lot for the tip!

  13. padmajav says:

    sounds too familiar!!!

    Wow!! Really? And I thought I was unique! 😐

  14. aditi says:

    oooooooooooooooooooooooo

    i seriously feel u have following problems…

    1. ur heading for an Alzheimer’s disease.
    2. u missing the bus itself is a proof that u r heading for that …

    i know its sad…check with a doctor.
    better late than never.

    😐 Thanks, but I don’t think I have a pathological condition! Cha…

  15. maami says:

    Erm, now what did I want to say now?

    Who is this again? 😛

  16. creek says:

    wow, stumbled upon your website via twisted-dna.
    you have an awesome command of creative usage of language 🙂

    yea, sadly you are not a unique species in this regard. welcome aboard 😀

    Well, are you complimenting me or trying to say I’m not as good? I know I have to improve, so I’ll take that as an advise. 🙂

  17. srividya says:

    I am not surprised!!! You sound exactly like my dear husband. He is also absent minded oops sorry “forgetful” 😉

    Nothing can beat leaving a kid in the park! Please! 😀 😛

  18. visiting your space after long and absolutely loved this one!
    i thought i was uniquely beyond everyone in this respect..very disappointed!! 😦 😛

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